i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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