I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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