And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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