D3 body, D1 cock
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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