I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
