so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
we're so committed to being not committed
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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