How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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