Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
