My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Randomize
