puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
