She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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