I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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