Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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