Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm passing your future prison.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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