This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
