I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
