just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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