I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
