quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
