Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
