You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
