I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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