Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
