I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
