why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
