Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
