Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
