This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
