he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
