She said her name was "party"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
