would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
