Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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