I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Alive.
So much puke
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
