Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I want a musical about memes.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
