The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he was CRYING into my vagina
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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