Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
