four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
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