i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
