She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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