so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
