I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
