Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
