NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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