11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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