Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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