RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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