i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
