he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
