So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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