she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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