Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize